and shall we not receive evil? . .”
(Job 2:10)
We tend to have a mindset that if we love God and are a Christian, trying to follow God’s ways in our lives, then He will bless us. And blessings, we further define, are good things, things we want. We aren’t alone in this line of thinking; remember Christ’s disciples who were dismayed at the idea of how difficult it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God?! (Matthew 19:23-25) Christ’s disciples equated the physical riches with blessings from God - and the more wealth, the closer one must be to following God’s ways.
So when difficulties in life come, sometimes our conclusion is that God is withholding blessings because we are not right with Him, that we must try harder to live as a Christian - in all that entails.
When Jonathan was born, he was a very demanding baby. He wanted to nurse every hour - around the clock. Furthermore, he wanted to fall asleep nursing. Often he’d wake up when he realized he wasn’t nursing anymore. So I would walk him until he fell asleep again. Then, when I would try to lay him in his crib, he’d wake up. There were nights where I’d get an hour or two of sleep before his cries would wake me up. I’d nurse and then walk him for 20-30 minutes, fall into bed only to be awakened an hour or two later. After seven weeks of this, I was so exhausted I could hardly think straight. Then suddenly this scripture popped into my head: “for he grants sleep to those he loves.” (Psalm 127:2) Immediately the doubts came crashing in!! I thought to myself, “I’ve been praying for sleep. I’m not getting sleep. God must not love me” Then I thought of a good family friend, Tommy, who suffers dreadfully with insomnia. I thought, “But God loves Tommy!” It was the next day that my eyes fell on a scripture with incredible promise: “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” (Isaiah 40:11) When I dug into the meaning of the words, the primary root of “gently lead” is “to run with a sparkle,” and means by inference “to protect, sustain, carry, feed, guide, lead gently on.” Furthermore, the “those that have young” is alternatively translated as “those who give suck.” I was so buoyed by the incredible promise in that scripture and by the comfort God was giving me in spite of my sleepless nights.
So why was God allowing me to struggle with sleeplessness? I think He was working with me that I would learn to accept both good and evil from His hand, that I would learn to trust Him no matter what. God reinforced my head knowledge of needing to trust Him about six months after Christopher was born. Allie Dart called and asked me write a book of lessons on Joseph’s life. I kept returning to the same theme of trusting God, but from different angles.
I must be a slow learner! After writing all of those lessons, I had the opportunity to transfer some of that head knowledge to heart knowledge as Ron and I started building our house. I thought that if building this house was God’s will for us, things would go smoothly. Nothing went smoothly! Well, it seemed as though very little went smoothly. (In fact, Ron told me that our house-building project really went quite well; it is just the way house-building goes.) But again, I found myself wondering if we were acting outside of God’s will, if my relationship with God was not right, and even if God still loved me. I was becoming very stressed. Then I began thinking back over those lessons of Joseph’s life and the many times that God has blessed me. Slowly, very slowly, I am learning to trust God. And as I take each step, that trust is tried in the fire.
My older brother, Bob, died suddenly just three weeks before Christopher was born. We were not prepared. But God was there, giving comfort to our family, and reminding us in many little ways to trust Him no matter what.
Why does God do this? Why can’t the life of a Christian mean smooth sailing through this life? Why must we learn to trust Him - no matter what? Why are we tried in the fire? Do you remember the Parables of the Potter? (If you don’t, please borrow the video from Ron and me.) The clay vessel (me) is not usable until it has gone through the fire. The fire reaches temperatures so hot that the clay almost melts; it is almost more than the clay can endure. However, having gone through the fire, the vessel becomes usable to the potter!
How usable do you wish to become? How much are you willing to endure? The firing tests the quality of the character of each pot - and of each of us. It is necessary in our development as Christians - as we walk within God’s will for each of us. There is great joy in knowing that the difficulties in our lives are not chance and circumstance - not for God’s children! God is in control! Wrap your mind around some of these thoughts; re-evaluate your definition of blessings and of what it means to be a Christian. Hopefully you’ll walk away encouraged that you are a child of God and that God cares enough for you to mold you after His will. He’s got great plans for you! Selah!!